Volume 7
October 30, 2016
Number 22
In our attempt to define gossip, we have seen that it includes things like: Talking behind someone’s back; Talking about someone in a negative manner that would detract from their reputation and cause them to look bad; Talking too much about insignificant, inconsequential, and unproductive matters; Flippantly repeating delicate and serious matters; Spending my time “fixing” everyone else’s problems, while paying little or no attention to my own problems; and Sticking my nose into other people’s business.
We have emphasized the reason why gossip is so dangerous and should be avoided. It hinders harmony and unity, because it fosters discord, distrust and division.
We have also tried to debunk several misconceptions regarding gossip. It is indeed possible to gossip about things that are true. At the same time one is not bound to keep the sinful secrets of another by the prohibition against gossip. We know this, because it is clear from biblical examples that not all discussion of sinful and inappropriate behavior is gossip.
So, how do we know if what we are doing is gossip or not? I would suggest that motive does make a difference. Who you tell and why you tell them can often be the determining factor in whether or not you are gossiping. It would appear to me that what makes the discussing of a real, and even sinful, problems gossip is whether or not our telling someone else about it is going to contribute to a positive result. If I become aware of a sinful behavior in a brother or sister in Christ, as we will see, it will sometimes become necessary to tell someone else about this issue in an effort to win back that brother or sister. On these occasions, before I tell anyone what I know, I should ask myself some questions. These questions can function as kind of a “rule of thumb” in helping us to avoid gossip:
- Is the one I plan to tell going to be able to help aid in bringing about a positive outcome?
- Am I unsure about whether or not the one I plan to tell will actually be able to help in this given situation?
- Am I sure that the one I plan to tell is indeed capable, knowledgeable, wise and trustworthy, and will actually assist in making positive progress?
If you answer to any of these questions is, “No,” then you should not tell that person, because chances are that telling that person would indeed constitute gossip. In other words, if the one that you are thinking of telling is in no way going to be able to aid in a positive outcome, then don’t tell them. If you are unsure whether or not the one you are planning to tell will be able to help, then you should tell them. You should only involve another individual if you are confident and sure that the one you tell is, not only going to be willing to help, but actually capable, knowledgeable, wise, and trustworthy enough to actually help bring about positive change.
As we reevaluate some of the biblical examples of Christians informing the apostle Paul about the problems present within their local congregations (see “Correcting Misconceptions about Gossip” Volume 7, Number 20), we can see that these must have been the guiding principles that were followed. It would appear in all of these examples that the brethren informed the apostle about the sin and problems because they knew that Paul would know how to address these various issues. Furthermore, Paul, as an apostle, had the authority to address these sinful behaviors. Therefore, bringing Paul into the loop so that he might be able to appropriately aid in the situation was not gossip. It was necessary in order to adequately address sinful behavior and bring about the appropriate changes.
Furthermore, we might want to make an observation about Paul’s naming names (cf. 1 Timothy 1:20; 2 Timothy 1:15; 4:10, etc.). We have already asserted that this behavior of the apostle was not gossip (see “Correcting Misconceptions about Gossip” Volume 7, Number 20), but now allow me to give an explanation as to why we have reached this conclusion. Paul seems to be doing this—naming names—not maliciously in an effort to defame these fallen brethren or to make them look bad. Rather, he seems to be holding these brethren up as a vivid and clear example of the danger that was present to his audience.
Think about it like this: until something happens to you, or someone you know, it just doesn’t seem real. Having your house burglarized, losing a baby, dying in a car accident. Those kinds of things happen to other people, but not to me or mine. That’s how we typically think about these kinds of negative experiences, until they do happen to us or ours. Now, all of a sudden, these things become real to us. Paul’s use of specific brethren, who were no doubt personally known by the audience, served to bring his admonition to remain faithful to the Lord into the realm of reality! If those that you know have fallen away, then be on guard that you don’t fall away also.
In our next, and last, article we will attempt to apply all of these principles to Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 18:15-17.
This bulletin is being published for the purpose of encouraging a further study of the Word of God. Editor – Josh Liggin
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