By Rick Liggin
“Encourage” by definition means “to inspire with courage, spirit, or hope” (Merriam-Webster Online). Most people want to feel encouraged, be encouraged, and receive encouragement from those around them. We thrive on it. It helps to motivate us, and keep us going. It gives us determination to press on and continue down the path that we are headed, no matter how difficult or challenging that path may be. “Discourage” by definition means “to deprive of courage and confidence; to hinder by disfavoring” (Merriam-Webster Online). No one I know craves discouragement. We try to avoid discouraging things and discouraging people as much as possible. Discouragement drags us down. It holds us back and prevents progress.
A Personal Experience:
My parents have always been a source of encouragement for me. As far back as I can remember, they have always been there, inspiring me with courage and confidence to try harder and to improve. In almost all of my pursuits growing up— sports, academics, work, hobbies—my parents encouraged me and often enabled me to the do my best, be my best and to excel. Looking back, I can honestly say that I would not be the person that I am today if it had not been for the encouragement that I received from my parents. And, though I am grown, their encouragement is something that I still enjoy to this day.
Now having said that, I don’t intend to give the impression that all my folks ever did was encourage me and enable me to do what I wanted to do or pursue what I wanted to pursue. Sure, if my goals and aspirations were positive and God-centered, then absolutely, my parents supported and encouraged me. But there were times when my pursuits were less-than admirable and definitely not God-centered. In these instances, my parents did not encourage me to do what I wanted to do. In fact, they did their best to discourage me from pursuing those things either by making it difficult, often causing me to feel uncomfortable, or on occasion by simply overruling what I wanted and keeping me from going down certain paths.
The reality is though that even when my parent were discouraging me from doing something wrong, they were actually still encouraging me. They were encouraging me to make better decisions, to pursue better paths, to do what is right. I tended to perceive this, not for what it really was—encouragement—but rather, as its opposite—discouragement. What was wrong was the viewpoint from which I was evaluating the actions of my parents. Because what they were encouraging me to do was not in line with what I wanted to do, I considered their actions to be discouraging.
I’m sure that my parents (and I believe that I am coming to realize this more now that I have kids of my own) always wanted to be in my corner, to have my back, and support me in anything and everything that I did. They wanted to always encourage me. But, because they love God and what is right, and because they love me and want me to do what is right, this was not always possible. When I got involved in things that were dangerous to me (especially from a spiritual standpoint), my parents could not encourage me to continue to do those things. They could not “be in my corner”, since I was in reality trying to stand in the wrong corner! And though they would encourage me to do right, I would often interpret this as them discouraging me from doing what I wanted to do.
There is a sense in which I still crave the support and approval, and yes, the constant encouragement of my parents. Even when I know deep down that what I want to do is not the best thing for me—but it is after all what I want right now—I want their encouragement. I want them to support my wants. But you see, my parents, because they really love me, have been (and will no doubt continue to be) not only a source of encouragement, but, when I needed it, a source of “discouragement” in my life. And that all greatly depended on what course of action I was attempting to pursue. The same may have been true for you. If you did what was right, then you were encouraged in your efforts. If you did what was wrong, then you were rebuked and maybe even disciplined (i.e. encouraged to do better); which if we are honest, doesn’t feel too encouraging at all (at least not in the moment)!
What’s the Point?
Among our brethren, there seems to always be a constant craving to receive encouragement from one another. We see that early disciples also desired to encourage one another (cf. Romans 1:12; Colossians 4:8; 1 Thessalonians 3:2), as indeed they were instructed to do (cf. 1 Thessalonians 5:11, 14; Titus 2:4; Hebrews 3:13; 10:24). We should strive to imitate them in this regard. Heeding the command to be an encouragement to our brethren. But we do not always make this an easy task for one another.
Why? Because we are not always doing what is right! When this is the case, we make it difficult for our brethren to “have our back” or “stand in our corner”, because we are in fact standing in the wrong corner. As much as our brethren want to encourage and support us, they cannot encourage us to continue down the path we are traveling that is leading us away from God. Instead, they must encourage us to stop, turn around and begin once again to do what it right. And this is rub.
Those of us who are struggling spiritually, who are spiritually weak, and sometimes literally begging to be encouraged by our brethren, don’t seem to be satisfied with the encouragement we receive. That is, we often don’t even realize that we are in fact being encouraged by our brethren. This is no doubt due to our own warped perceptions. When we do wrong, our brethren encourage us to do better. However, because their encouragement does not line up with what it is that we want to do (or are currently doing), we interpret their actions and words, not for what they really are—encouragement—but for its opposite— discouragement. And so, we continue on down the path we are headed—because after all that is the way we want to go—all the while feeling like everyone around us is against us. We want to feel encouraged, but we just don’t seem to be getting what we want.
What we really need when we are headed away from God is for one of our brethren to “discourage” us from continuing down that path, by encouraging us to turn around and head back towards God. If we would change the way we perceive things, and start seeing them for what they really are, perhaps we would begin to feel more encouraged.
So, do you feel encouraged?
This bulletin is being published for the purpose of encouraging a further study of the Word of God. Editor – Josh Liggin
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